There are over 18 million posts about self-testing for codependency. After perusing through several of them, I selected the questions that I personally could relate to the most. Folks, these questions do not address all the symptoms, but they are a place to start. I am not drawing a line in the sand by providing a score that determines one way or the other if you are codependent. – I am not a trained professional and I am not qualified to make that diagnosis. Therefore, you get to decide for yourself after you answer the questions. But look at it like this. If you are on this page and you are taking this test, then maybe, just maybe, you have a legitimate concern about being codependent.
One Example of a Codependent Self-Diagnostic Test
1 Does my self-esteem, my identity depend on my relationship with someone else?
2 Do you feel the need or feel obligated to help others, before you take care of your own needs?
3 Do your personal relationships make you unhappy more often than they make you happy?
4 Do you have a problem saying NO without feeling guilty?
5 Do you have a problem saying NO when someone ask you for help – even if it something you don’t want to do.
6 Is your mental attention focused on solving someone else’s problems and relieving their pain?
7 Do you try to protect others from making mistakes, whether they ask for your help or not?
8 Do you lose sleep worrying about another person?
9 Do you have a tendency to do more than your share all the time?
10 Do you suppress your thoughts or feelings only to have them later explode in anger?
11 Do you give too much to others – gifts, favors, your time?
12 Do you have a sense of guilt when asserting yourself to others?
13 Do you make excuses for the bad behavior of the “broken” people in your life?
14 Do you have a difficult time making decisions?
15 Will you do anything to keep the peace – even at all cost to yourself?
16 Do you blame others for your failures, anger or lack of self-control?
17 Are you repeatedly attracted to unhealthy relationships?
18 Does your fear of rejection determine what you say and do?
19 Do you use giving as a way to feel safe and as a way to bind you to a relationship?
20 Are you unable to ask others to help you meet your own needs and desires?
21 Do you value others approval and opinion more than your own?
22 Do you ever comprise your own values and integrity to avoid anger or rejection?
23 Do you ever feel the need to cover up for the irresponsible people in your life, because you are trying to help them avoid the consequences for their bad behavior?
24 Do you feel that being good to yourself is selfish?
25 Do you have a hard time leaving relationships even when you know they are unhealthy for you?
26 Does the quality of your life depend on the quality of someone else’s life?
27 Do you consistently abandon your plans to do what someone else wants to do in order to make them happy and keep the peace?
28 Do your feel that their problems and addictions are your fault?
29 Do you avoid standing up to people who disagree with you to avoid conflict and confrontation – even when you know you are right?
29 Do you get terribly offended and hurt by normal legitimate personal criticism?
30 Do you often give advice even when it is not requested?
31 Do you feel isolated and alone?
32 Do you sacrifice your own hobbies and interests and spend time doing what someone else wants to do – even when it does not interest you and you really don’t want to do it all?
33 Do you have a difficult time being good to yourself and doings things just for yourself?
34 Do you feel guilty spending money on yourself?
35 Do you feel ashamed of your family or personal relationships?
36 Do you keep trying to be “good enough” so that others will like you?
37 Do you feel uncomfortable when you receive attention, compliments, or gifts from others?
38 Do you worry about other people’s opinion of you?
39 Is it hard to ask for help?
40 Do you consistently lie or avoid the truth to protect yourself?
41 Do you feel you must always be in control of your feelings?
42 Do you feel that no matter how hard you try to please other people it is never enough and that you are never going to measure up?
43 Do you vacillate between defending and exploding with anger towards the irresponsible people in your life?
44 Do you feel trapped and a victim in an unhealthy relationship?
45 Are you a people pleaser?
46 Do you feel desperate and or needy?
47 Do you place someone else’s wants above your needs?
48 Do you ever become over involved in other people’s life in order to feel good about yourself?
49 Do you feel that when something is not perfect, or if something goes wrong, that it is your fault?
50 Do you feel inadequate and less than the other people that you have relationships with?